FROZEN IN TIME
If I had to paint a picture
of my sadness in words,
an image comes to mind.
One I’ve witnessed in many past lives.
In the middle stands a wall of glass,
thick, impenetrable, and soundproof.
On the right side, frozen like a movie paused,
a scene I’ve seen a hundred times.
Every member of my family is present.
Mother, father, and sister, a brimful of smiles.
A backyard party full of laughter and love.
The sun is shining; many birds are in the sky.
I am standing facing everyone involved in the fun,
my back against the glass.
I am present on a glorious day.
How I miss the smell of green grass.
Behind me on the other side of the glass
stands my inner self expressing my true feelings.
Silently crying, screaming in rage.
My fists are pounding against the glass,
tears of sadness, hurt and pain.
I am imprisoned (it’s dark outside),
standing in the pouring rain.
Unseen and unheard, losing all hope,
life is passing me by, and no one knows
how I truly feel.
I am a sharp prism made of solid glass.
I have many sides, yet my anger blocks the passage of light.
My sadness builds pressure seeking to escape,
summoning all my rage, anger, and fear.
A thousand screams become a vortex of pain,
and hits my center.
I am electrified, I am empowered.
Out from all sides my emotions flow
from me and through me.
Rays of light, beams of hope.
Out comes anger, frustration, sadness and hurt,
propelled by faith and love.
I am that prism moved from its foundation
pushing through the wall of glass.
Like a stone falls upon water,
fear turns into faith.
The wall shatters, my emotions released.
I am free to move, forward motion.
I merge with my happy self.
My newfound happiness turns to light,
shed upon my family.
I am content after many years with knowledge that
a true self contains everything:
the good and the bad, the lows and the highs.
Press play, the movie of my life continues.
An alternate ending, the one I longed for.