I WON’T SURRENDER

August 16, 2021

The fact of the matter is,
I define what an addict is.
If a righteous path exists,
I’d much rather resist.
I’m insane going against the grain;
the only way to go.
The Lord forsakes my soul, but
it won’t play a major role.
Now that’s honesty, this so-called
society of sobriety is a mockery.
I mean, it’s gotta be.
There’s no power higher than me.
And if I’m known to fail,
I’ll remain cold as hell.
So, you go turn over your will.
I don’t need coping skills.
They tell me to do some things I never did before.
Like take a step towards faith,
then take eleven more.
They keep talking about honesty, openness, and willingness.
But how can I start spilling it when
I don’t know where my feelings went?
I thought I’ll be this way forever
‘til it’s all done.
Now suddenly, I don’t need to keep my guard up.
wont
as sick as me?
Acting like it’s an epiphany.
You gotta be kidding me.
I’ll just keep adding to the voice
that’s playing in your head.
And if you want to sleep forever,
I’ll help you make your bed.
I won’t surrender…

~ Christino H.

This writing is selected as an excerpt from the book Effective Use of Creative Writing in the Treatment of Addiction to Chemical Substances, Eric A. Kreuter, Ph.D., editor, a clinician at St. Christopher’s Inn.

It is published by Nova Science Publishers, to learn more click HERE.

The nurses are the best part of my day.

The admission process was as fast and painless as it could be.

The medical staff is excellent, they treated me with love and care.

Overall the program and facility at St. Christopher’s Inn is the best, bar none.

Family program is PERFECT please don’t change a thing.

I took part in the GED program and was quite satisfied. I haven’t taken the test yet, but I have very high hopes of passing.

Gained immense knowledge from lectures and treatment plan.

It is very spiritual and I needed the experience.

The care and concern by my counselor and supporting staff shows the love that I didn’t know existed.

Staff is unbelievable, saved my life.

The goals I have reached and the new ones I’ve developed while being here are something of a life changer for me in my future.

I was pleasantly surprised by the existence of the Coffee House. Music is a central and meditative part of my life. The ability to perform for my new brothers here and the staff was unexpected and made this an incredible journey.

I would have nothing if it wasn’t for SCI.

Great people, caring and responsive.

I would like to tell you how thankful I am to you for having this family program available. I want to say thank you for giving me exactly what I needed.

The experience of being here and becoming a member of the Brothers Christopher fraternity has changed my life. Being in the Friars house was a blessing. Their generosity gave me knowledge I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Thank you for the privilege I was given to stay here in your house. God bless you all. I will always keep a piece of St. Christopher’s Inn in my heart.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the hot meals, warm bed and unconditional love you so easily gave to me. I know if it were not for you, I would truly still be a lost soul.

The road to recovery is called Franciscan Way, and the door to happiness lies within the walls of St. Christopher’s Inn.

I never thought someone could care for a drug addict like me. You have shown me that I am worth something. May God bless you a million times.

Thank you for welcoming me in to your home, and granting me a scholarship for treatment. There’s not enough “thank-yous” I could say, so I’m going to show you by staying clean and living a peaceful sober life.

I want to thank you for everything—from my stay here to working in the Thrift Shop. I am so grateful for St. Christopher’s Inn and every staff member that represents this fantastic organization.

I was amazed by the unbelievable generosity of everyone at our Christmas party. A nice scarf and a collared shirt—I have been through hundreds in my life but I have never cared for any of them as I do for these. Thank you for giving me the best Christmas in many, many years.

I love this place. They have given me a place to sleep, food in my stomach, clothes on my back, and a chance at a first-class life. Recovery is here . . . all you have to do is want it!

Today, I am a sober man. I live an honest and simple life. I’m a reliable, employable productive member of society. I have dignity and self-worth and even self-love. All of these things are a direct result of the care and guidance given to me by the Friars and the staff at St. Christopher’s Inn. Some people call it a homeless shelter. I call it home.